com·pla·cen·cy

com·pla·cen·cy [kuhm-pley-suhn-see]
–noun, plural -cies. 1. a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger, defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation, condition, etc.

I've been up since 5am this morning. I'm unable to sleep. There has been a variety of things swirling in my head. I'm worried about my bills, not having any cash for the past two months, my AMEX/TCA dispute, NCO. Wondering if I'll ever make it out of my debt.

There's not any real conflict right now, its the potential of it all. The new job, Lucky's book, my pending dispute, the house cleaner, the vet visit.

I need a vacation. My friend Jacinda had her 30th birthday in Chicago. Her pictures were filled with so much fun and familiar faces from my UT years. I should have gone. Blah, no, had to be responsiable.

Love the accent. HBBM!

I can only hope to look this good when I'm 47

Stress Relief

I've been feeling alittle stressed at work and in life lately. I'm thinking about getting these to help cheer me up (Found them on ebay for about 100 bucks!)

Sure I should spend the extra cash towards my remaining debt, save for my "I've just been fired because they finally realized I suck" saving account or our house/wedding..but maybe these are just what I need.

Plus if Lucky got a pair we could put on a show in central park and make some cash!!

Floating Lady Barge Pool.

Its a barge, its a pool, its both. Only in NYC. AND ITS FREE!

Pool Lady Days

Soft Moments

I've been looking at Microsoft Money way to much. This Friday will be my last payment on my debt management program but my credit card debt is far from over. Working with Microsoft Money I've figured that I will not be out of debt completely until Apr 2009. Trying to save for my wedding and create a emergency fund is also depressing me and proving almost impossible at my given income. The vet bill is going to be $400. Looks like if Lucky goes to Italy for his book there is no way I could afford to go. Our anniversary is coming up in October and my idea of us traveling is laughable. I came home from church today just sad and hopeless. Took a nap and then started cleaning the kitchen....

I just feel better once I start to clean. It clears my head and centers me. Took the laundry in and on the way back stopped into a flower shop. Sure it wasn't in my budget, that I had created, but I needed something to brighten my day. Just has I was paying for my flowers I hear the familiar sound of small paws and breath. Vishes followed by my best friend and partner, Lucky. He had stopped by to buy me a flower because he knew where my mind was and wanted to make me smile.

We sat in the court yard, drinking margaritas and he allowed me to fantasize about french doors and trips to an ice hotel. Later I talked to my mom and sis. Lucky cooked an amazing meal - steak and shrimp. As we watched Extreme Makeover, my eyes wondered over to the flowers. They looked prettier, more full, then when I first put them in that vase. I realized I was missing the point. Yes, I have big dreams and hopes for our future. But its these simple moments that I miss when I'm consumed about wanting something more. Our home. Vishes. A soft quite Sunday evening in front of the tv with Lucky. Good food and a coke float. Those flowers. Smile. I love you.

PS. Turns out Lucky had rearranged the flowers.

Day 6

I haven't been very Lucky these past 6 days.

ART IN DUMBO.

Little Devil. What's yours?

You Are 45% Pure

You're not so innocent... in fact, you're quite unpure. You have seen and experienced a lot. And you're no worse for the wear!

The 100 Question Purity Test

Reason #756 "Why I love Lucky"