Bithday Wishes

One of the many surprises I put together for Lucky's surprise party

Goals - conclusion

go to the gym 3 times- 2 free weights, 1 cardio - 4/23, missed

Excuse- I think the reason here is that I don't have a actual goal to reach. The idea to just "stay fit" or "be healthy" seems to be to huge of a goal. I need to be more specific, break it down into what I really want to get out of working out. The cardio class that I took on Monday kicked my ass but it felt amazing when I was done

have a martini on the fire escape - missed

Excuse- I usually drink with Lucky onour fire escape, its just not that much fun to do it on my own We also were out of voka

make a dentist appointment - missed

I hate the dentist and none of my teeth are hurting. The reason I set this goal was because its been six months and I know I'm due for a check up.

go to a dance class - missed

I'm too tired to get into this one..but basically I don't see the point. I'm no longer a dancer so why do something that is going to remind me of something I loved that I gave up to have a more stable life..I fight to many demons on a daily bases so why add fuel.

save 300 dollars for London trip - missed

Luckys surpise party took a huge bite out of my budget so I was unable to make this goal this month. As a result, I have to push back our london trip back two months

call mom - missed

I took off for Lucky's birthday and so didn't have my regular 11am call with her

My Goals- part 2

Its a snowball effect. Tuesday I left work with the idea that I was going to a dance class, then I talked my way out of it, saying "wait, I need to walk the dog..thats one of my goals, I'll do that instead."

Then I didn't go to the gym on wednesday, didn't go to the dance class I said I was going to go to on thursday, went out drinking with my friends instead spending $66, drunk eatting McDonalds and passed out on my floor at 9pm (see lucky's blog for details)

Now its 1:43 am, just woke up and I noticed our dog is leaving little pee spots on our white carpet. And I more then likely will not go to the gym tomorrow. Snowball effect.

The Thinker...or am I?

Clare created this pic from Lucky's camera photo of me zoning out and combined it with a Dali painting

Background of the actual painting by Dali

La persistencia de la memoria (1931) or The Persistence of Memory is quite possibly the most famous painting by artist Salvador Dalí. The painting has also been popularly known as Soft Watches, Droopy Watches, or Melting Clocks. It is currently displayed in the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) in New York City, where it has been since 1934.

Description
The well-known surrealistic piece introduced the image of the soft melting pocket watch. It's possible to recognize a human figure in the middle of the composition, in the strange "monster" that the same Dalí called the "paranoic-critic camembert": it's a head (probably a self-portrait of the artist). In general the tree means life, but, in this case, has the same function of the rest of the elements in the picture: to impress anxiety and, in a certain way, terror. The golden cliffs in the upper right hand corner are reminiscent of Dali's homeland, Catalonia.

hmmm....human figure, impress anxiety, terror....me,me,ME. Ah, but what does it all mean?

Food

I'm making a list to see what I eat and how much I spent on food. This blog actually makes it easier because I don't have to carry receipts or a booklet. I only need to have internet access. I'm only doing this for a week but go ahead and say want you want (jackie), I'm posting this even if it bores you to tears..

Sunday
-coffee (.50)
-french toast, bacon, eggs ($37)
-drinks ($20)
-eggs with cheese and salsa
Monday
-coffee (.50)
-ham sandwich ($4)
-banana bread ($2)
-Dr. Pepper
-peanut butter protein shake ($5)
-20 tortia chips
-5 milano cookies
-1 slice of cheese
-2 glasses of water
Tuesday
-coffee (.50)
-turkey sandwich ($4)
-Coke
-basil shrimp ($10)
-2 glasses of milk
-10 milano cookies :(
Wednesday
-coffee (.50)
-waffle with strawberry, rassberry, whipcream
-spicy tuna and miso soup ($5)
-Coke
-5 chocolates from jaque tores
-Mac and Cheese
-peanut butter sandwich
Thursday
-blueberry pancakes
-coffee (.50)
-Taco Bell ($3)
-calamary & 4 drinks ($66)
-McDonalds 10 nuggest, fries & Coke ($7)
Friday
-Starbucks Moca ($5)
-chicken soup ($5)
-peanut butter and jelly sandwich
-popcorn
Saturday
-McDonalds 4 nuggets, fries ($4)

Lucky, "I've reach my breaking point!"

My Goals

This Week

• go to the gym 3 times- 2 free weights, 1 cardio - 4/23, missed
• spent 50 dollars or less on food- done 4/28
• go to church - done 4/22
• water plants three times a day -4/23, 4/24, 4/26, 4,28 done
• take vishes out 2 times - 4/24, 4/28 done
• only buy a starbucks on fridays - 4/27 done
• e-mail editor, find 3 prospets for corp housing - 4/25 done
• have a martini on the fire escape - missed
• give a bath to vishies - done 4/22
• buy razors- 4/25 done
• get a haircut- 4/26 done
• make a dentist appointment - missed
• call ronnie -4/24 done
• go to a dance class - missed
• pay 20 dallors to first financial - done 4/22
• save 300 dollars for London trip - missed
• call mom - missed
• call liz - 4/24 done
• get sticks for bazil plants - done 4/22
• do dishes - done 4/22
• toss dead flowers - done 4/22
• write in my blog when I'm inspired or have an idea NOT just to write in it.
  

This month (30 days from now) 5/22

• KPI report
• talk to rick about london
• save 600 dollars for london trip
• LH expense report for cash
• pay cell, cable, elec, gas, rent, debt
• take clothes to dry clean
• go to two dance classes
• get vishies a haircut
• increase my deductions by $200, so I can pay off debt sooner - done 4/24
  

Goal: 1 yr (31, 2008)

• travel to london with lucky
• paid off my last two credit cards
• still be at 200 kent street
• buy an armor, dresser and a ibook, once my cards are paid off
• be at wireless and working for LH
• quit my 2nd job, once I pay off my cards
• get my teeth whitened, once I pay off my cards

Goal: 5 yrs (35, 2012)

• have a house or bigger appt with two closets with lucky
• be working as a genral manger for a producing house or working in casting/producing
• marry lucky, honeymoon in mexico or bali?
• have 14K in savings

Goal: 10yrs (40, 2017)

• move closer to my family

Goal: 20 yrs (50 yrs old, 2027)

• have a house with french doors and a huge back yard with a garden
• adopted a baby
• be with Lucky and have a ceremony celebrating our 24yrs together
• own a small theater which I produce and direct productions
• traveled to japan, austria, new zeland, africa, rome, russia
• teach theatre at a local school?

Happy Earth Day!

A Great Day in Central Park

Bethesda Fountain is the central feature on the lower level of Bethesda Terrace overlooking The Lake in Central Park, New York. The pool is centered by a fountain sculpture designed by Emma Stebbins in 1868 and unveiled in 1873. Stebbins was the first woman to receive a public commission for a major work of art in New York City. The bronze, eight-foot statue depicts a winged angel touching down upon the top of the fountain, where water spouts and cascades into an upper basin and into the surrounding pool. Beneath her are four four-foot cherubs representing Temperance, Purity, Health, and Peace. Also called the Angel of the Waters, the statue refers to the Gospel of John, Chapter 5 where there is a description of an angel blessing the Pool of Bethesda, giving it healing powers. In Central Park the referent is the Croton Aqueduct opened in 1842, providing the city for the first time with a dependable supply of pure water: thus the angel carries a lily in one hand, representing purity, and with the other hand she blesses the water below. The base of the fountain was designed by the architect of all the original built features of Central Park, Calvert Vaux, with sculptural details, as usual, by Jacob Wrey Mould. In Calvert Vaux and Frederick Law Olmsted's 1858 Greensward Plan, the terrace at the end of the Mall overlooking the naturalistic landscape of the Lake was simply called The Water Terrace, but after the unveiling of the angel, its name was changed to Bethesda Terrace.

Feeling Blue?

so i had this idea....

Vishes after a hard day at the office.

spring is finally here

It's bring your dog to work day!

Credit Cards are Evil Things

The Past~

I had credit cards while in college and my parents paid all of my bills - rent, utilities and my credit cards. I know, I know..why did I need them? Reason: it was 1997, credit card companies could set up tables on campus to capture bright eyed and clueless college kids into debt and I seemed to always want more.

I moved to NYC on credit. After I got my first musical tour in Oct 2001 my dad took over my cards and began to pay them all off. Nice right?

But once I got off my 2nd tour in June 2002, my parents were done. I was 25 and if I wanted to stay in New York, I was going to have to do it on my own. Back then I actually had dreams of making theatre a career and New York is where I needed to be. So, with me being the resourceful person that I am, I got the card statements, brand new cards reissued and sent to my current address in NYC...without my father's permission. Upset does not describe his reaction, lets just say my mother felt the brunt of it and then her softer and imploring voice came at me over the phone, a "how could you do this?" and "who's going to pay for this, we can't afford this!?" is what I remember.

I lived in a state of denial (not just a river in Egypt). I would take cash advances at 22% ARP- sometimes $400 a night for dancing and partying (so much for auditioning)- thinking that some how I would pay the cards back. I paid rent on my cards more then a couple of times. It got to a point where I couldn't afford to pay the minimum payment, so not only was I gaining debt for clothes, bfs, two trips- home and Austin, cell phone bill, clubbing, drinks, computer, dinners out, dentist, doctor, more clothes, bf's clothes, movies, car rentals, etc -I was also getting charged late fees ($40) and over the limit fees ($50) each month on 5 different cards.

From $0 debt to a grand total of $26,445.65 in just 13 months.

After avoiding the numerous calls from creditors, I accidentally answered my cell phone one night. It was MBNA, I owed them $11,840. They said if I closed my account and went with this debt consolidation company they could get my APR from 33% to 1% and it would stop all the calls. The next thing I knew, all my cards were closed expect my Dell card- I only owned $930 and I said to the lovely debt consolidation girl, "Oh, I could pay that off on my own, np."(wrong: try $2,796 for a computer that cost me $1100 and is now 4 years old). I now had to make a monthly payment of $592 and if I missed more then two payments I would be booted out of the program and I also had to pay them $36 a month.

I started with my debt consolidation company in July 2003. I was 26 year old working at Equinox, in accounting off all places, making 24K

The first two months were the worest. It was hard to go from not having to worry about cash flow, going to nice dinners or seeing a movie whenever I felt like it to looking into restaurant windows and wondering how anyone could afford to eat at such nice restaurant or seeing someone walking a dog and thinking how do people afford feeding a dog when you can't even afford feeding yourself

I broke down, called my mom crying, saying that I was drowning in debt and could she please take over just one of my credit cards to lower my monthly payment. She agreed but it was going to be her paying the bill..my father would have nothing to do with it. She took over the second highest card I had- 1st financial bank, amount: 8,800. This lowered my payments down to $388 per month and would allow me to at least function in NYC.

The Present~

February 21, 2007: I paid off my first credit card, Dell Financial
Stats:

• Price: $1268.58
• Paid: $ 2303.12
• Interest: $1034.54
• Time: 4 yrs 6 m

I thought it would be this big relief but it was like...ok, next card.

February 23, 2007: 2nd card, Amex
Stats:

• Debt: $4,300 (est.)
• Paid: $4,300
• Interest: none
• Time: 3 yrs 7 m

The deal with this card was that if I missed more then two payment, I would be lay able for all the interest since the start of the program. My last cc statement had about 3,900 in interest since I started the program. I was very worried that I might have missed a payment and have to pay the remaining 3K but in the end it was cleared. I think maybe this is when it started to sink in. I was seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

March 23, 2007: 3rd card, Citibank VISA
Stats:

• Debt: $1,500 (est.)
• Paid: $2,596
• Interest: $1,096
• Time: 3 yrs 8 m

The APR went from 20% to 9% when I started, but that 9% still got 1K from me.

• April 17, 2007: MBNA MC
  Debt: $11,840
  Paid: $8991.14 (and counting)
  Remaining: $2848.86
  Est Time: Nov '07
  

Also in March I was able to take that credit card my mom was paying on. If was a very proud moment when I was able to call my mom and tell her the news. I could see her smiling all the way from Texas!

But here is why credit cards are evil- 1st Financial Bank

This card is not on the program, they do not work out deals with my consolidation company. So I'm suck paying for at least another two years. So on my first bill after my mom sent it to me this is what happen

Payment was do Apr 2. I made two payment, a $150 each. The first payment posted fine but the second payment posted Apr 3 (my birthday)..one day late. I called them to explain that I had just taken over the payment and could they please reverse the $37 late charge. He said no because the card was closed.

Then I asked him why the payment posted on Apr 3 didn't carry over to the next months bill so that I would have at least started chopping at the minimum due. He said the billing cycle didn't end until Apr 4! UUUGGHhhhh!

So because they choose this random date of Apr 2 (not Apr 4, which would actually make sense), I'm out an extra $37 AND I still own the full minimum payment for my next bill! I HATE CREDIT CARDS!

Oh, AND they are charging me $2.75 a month for having a balance on a closed account! That's $32.88 a year for nothing!

I need to go work for a credit card company, they are pros at getting the must bang for their buck! Maybe I'll sent them my blog and they will have pity on me. (most likely not, they will most likely sue me for using there name and talking trash!)

Future~

I should be out of debt by Nov 2008. I'll be 31 and still an assistant..but that's a whole other posting. Total amount paid: 29K (est.)

Lesson-

Debt consolidation works at a price. I hear there are companies that don't charge a fee (my sister told me this after 2 years into the program). Credit is not some magical source of money, you will have to pay it back with interest. Amex is he best card, hands down. Silver lining- I would have never met Lucky and fell in love (and the crowd goes..aahhh)!

This is why I can't do my blogging tonight!

corey "cleaning my kichen"

Rainy Sunday

It was awesome to see Phil and Jason this past Saturday. I haven't seen them in 4 months..they look more relaxed. I guess moving to the country has that effect on people.

I woke up this morning at 5:30am, got on-line and started searching for a Methodist church. I even walked in the rain at about 7am to the one in greenpoint just to see what it looked like. But in the end I didn't go..I ended up falling back asleep and missing the service. Guess today was not going to be the day.

Corey and Jackie came over today. At first they weren't going to come but in the end I made them feel guilty and it worked! I'm glad they came, rainy Sundays always get me down but with us and Lucky drinking rum & cokes, apple martins and making fajitas..it made the depressing weather not so depressing. Jackie even cleaned my stove!

Oh, and "The Pursue of Happiness"..not so much happy as long and boring. And don't even bother renting "Stick it"..the girl in it is hot but the movie sucks.

I have to make a plug for this amazing series on Discovery: Planet Earth..it will make you want to save the world...or at least make you have more respect for it

http://dsc.discovery.com/beyond/index.html?playerId=203711706&categoryId=210014204&lineupId=452340373

jackie cleaning my stove drunk

I hate doing dishes...anyone have a dishwasher they can donate?

Who walks like this?

What are these boots doing?

Whats a girl to do?

My least favorite stamp

My favorite stamp

Because A Father must listen to His son

Riding the train was very eventful this morning.

There was this guy- mid 30s, blue collar who got on the train and started asking this latin guy, "Do you know what time it is?" and started going off about how no one really knows the time, only God knows what time it is. Then the latin guy was like (in thick spanish accent), "why are you bothering me? You see all these people, it 9am, it the morning, go away".

Which of course only made Crazy go crazier. He starts walking up and down the car shouting, "the Father must listen to His son!" and "This is a stick up, only money will save you, so empty your wallets and pockets to me..your Son!" and "I got a bomb, can you dial 911..I can!" He was saying it so clearly and loudly and with such conviction that you couldn't really tell if he was a performance artist or just insane. Others got out of the train but I pretended to read my paper and not make eye contact...this is New York, if we moved everytime someone started shouting, there wouldn't be enough subway cars!

As the train was pulling into another station, an undercover cop shows up dressed in street wear but with a huge badge hanging around his neck...oh the drama. This cop must have scared Crazy because as soon as he showed up, Crazy jumped off the train. But that didn't stop him, Crazy then tried to shake the cops hand and when the cop wouldn't, Crazy started speaking in tongues.

aahh, New York....all in a day's morning commute in this Crazy city.

Its Raining

The weather sucks today..it was raining and the wind is crazy strong between these two bridges.

intern update:

Session Start (WilSgfrd:intern): Thu Apr 12 12:14:47 2007
[12:14] intern: did you find her resume!
[12:14] intern: that was meant to be a question mark
[12:15] intern: ?
[12:15] intern: i had a job offer
[12:15] WilSgfrd: yeah, thanks
[12:15] WilSgfrd: and?
[12:15] intern: thinking about it
[12:16] intern: probably gonna leave in the next two weeks or so
[12:16] WilSgfrd: where is the job
[12:16] intern: i have three potentials
[12:17] intern: one restaurant, one bar, one jr.recruiter on wall street
[12:17] WilSgfrd: wow, nice
[12:18] intern: yeah, i'm lucky enough to find something immediately
[15:06] *** "intern" signed off at Thu Apr 12 15:06:50 2007.

So we are basically talking again.

Oh, I also figured out how to post a video on the intranet..a very proud moment. ( I actually didn't but my boss showed me how)

On the home front-

I'm worried about my friend, lonelyboy. He drops out of touch for a couple of days, doesn't return calls or texts and then he's back. I worry about him because he just got back to the city after a very bad fight with his father, he's still in love with his ex-bf (who I think is a very bad influence on him) and was just fired from his job. I love this kid but I'm worried he may be going down a very dark and lonely path

I've been checking out different religions. I guess I'm just looking for something close to what Lucky has with his idea of God and religion. Being raised Catholic, having republican parents from Texas...its hard to break way from the idea that there is anything but conservative catholic religion in the world. I did start going to a Unitarian Universalist church, http://www.allsoulsnyc.org/ , about a year ago but I never really gave it a chance; I hated going by myself but I really identified with what they were saying..they tend to question everything.

Today, I do feel however that I can not denie that I want spirituality in my life. I've tried so many other things..and yet there is still this sense of longing for something more, something better...I'm just to tired, to hungry or to busy to care. Maybe if I made spirituality a priority rather then a "nice to have" (sorry to use the work term)..then maybe. But doesn't that mean I'd be working 7 days a week? :)

Reminds me of a time...

So my current fight over IM reminded me of this one. Maybe I really am a bitch...

[09:43] bunny1: hey
[09:43] bunny1: come show me how to work the projector
[09:44] bunny1: bring your laptop
[09:44] WilSgfrd: I'm here today, doc is sick
[09:44] WilSgfrd: I'll do it
[09:46] bunny1: awesome!
[09:46] bunny1: i mean, um, sorry your doc is sick
[09:46] WilSgfrd: your welcome..now leave me alone
[09:47] bunny1: you LIKE me
[10:01] WilSgfrd: hey, i rescheduled with another doctor
[10:01] WilSgfrd: leaving in 30 mins
[10:01] bunny1: waht?
[10:01] bunny1: ok come teach me
[10:01] WilSgfrd: I can't I have tons of work..please find someone else
[10:01] bunny1: dick [10:01] bunny1: you're being a dick
[10:02] WilSgfrd: whats your extention
[10:02] bunny1: 2032
[10:04] WilSgfrd: you know..you realy need to stop thinking about yourself all the time
[10:04] bunny1: yes, that's on the top of my to-do list
[10:05] WilSgfrd: you could be alittle more considerate..you konow I would help if I could [10:06] WilSgfrd: you have know idea whats going on in my personal life right now, so when I say i can't I can't
[10:06] bunny1: share if you like
[10:06] bunny1: you said work makes you busy
[10:06] bunny1: personal life is a diff story
[10:06] bunny1: no IM fighting
[10:06] bunny1: i don't IM fight
[10:06] WilSgfrd: I DON"T HAVE TIME RIGHT NOW..but you just pissed me off now its all i can think about
[10:07] WilSgfrd: thanks
[10:07] bunny1: well that's what i'm here for
[10:07] bunny1: didn't mean to piss you off
[10:07] bunny1: talk to me anytime
[10:07] bunny1: i'll make the time
[10:08] WilSgfrd: are you retarded..I don't want to talk to anybody..so when i say I can't help you..and you call me a dick..thats very low
[10:08] bunny1: bill
[10:08] bunny1: calm down
[10:08] bunny1: you're not a dick
[10:08] bunny1: i'm sorry for saying you are
[10:09] bunny1: if you don't want to talk, then you can't expect people to guess things are going bad
[10:09] bunny1: you know i'm here
[10:09] bunny1: that's all i can do for you right now
[10:09] bunny1: just be here when you're ready
[10:09] WilSgfrd: but you can respect the fact that I can't ..becuase I raely say no to anyone when they come to me for help
[10:10] bunny1: niether do i
[10:10] bunny1: listen bill,
[10:10] bunny1: you've called me much worse things
[10:10] bunny1: i think you're overreacting,
[10:10] bunny1: or tkaing something out on me
[10:10] bunny1: which i'll let go,
[10:10] bunny1: just please drop it before i start to get angry
[10:10] bunny1: i apologize
[10:10] bunny1: let's move on
[10:11] WilSgfrd: then back off when I tell you to
[10:16] WilSgfrd: ok, I caught up
[10:16] WilSgfrd: now..I have 15 mins..you want me to show you [10:16] bunny1: no it's ok [10:16] bunny1: i'll get paul to show me how to work it
[10:16] bunny1: we'll probably use his computer
[10:17] WilSgfrd: your so annoying..why didn't you ask him in the first place
[10:17] bunny1: bill, i'm backing off today
[10:17] bunny1: please back off me today too
[10:18] WilSgfrd: you got it
Session Close (bunny1): Thu Jan 25 14:54:26 2007

Update: We made up...I was right, She was wrong. The end :)..kidding. Its not about right and wrong. Its about winning

Excuse me?!

So I got into an IM fight today with a intern at work today. See below:

[11:12] intern: hola!
[11:12] WilSgfrd: hi
[11:12] intern: did you see the email from her re: candidate
[11:12] intern: ?
[11:12] WilSgfrd: yup
[11:13] intern: i'll set it up
[11:13] intern: any time The Boss would prefer?
[11:13] WilSgfrd: Fri at 11:30
[11:14] intern: for 30 minutes?
[11:14] WilSgfrd: 1hr
[11:14] intern: he has something on his calendar from 12-12:30
[11:15] WilSgfrd: what are you talking about?
[11:15] WilSgfrd: no he does not
[11:16] intern: Friday, 4/13, from 12-12:30 is marked in blue
[11:16] WilSgfrd: not on my calendar
[11:16] WilSgfrd: you might want to hit refresh
[11:16] intern: i have several times
[11:17] intern: several times for The Boss?
[11:17] intern: or that your candidiate can make
[11:17] intern: what are they
[11:17] intern: no, i've hit refresh several times
[11:18] intern: i won't contact candidate until i know a time The Boss has available
[11:18] intern: and 12-12:30 is booked on friday
[11:18] intern: why is this so difficult
[11:18] intern: because you think you know more
[11:18] WilSgfrd: but you don't
[11:19] WilSgfrd: i handel his calendar everydayt
[11:19] intern: well his calendar shows that time booked
[11:19] WilSgfrd: and thats why its hard..you don't trust me
[11:19] intern: wow you're a bitch
[11:20] WilSgfrd: I'm doing five things at once right now so I don't have time
[11:20] WilSgfrd: when i tell you he is free and you question it..it makes everything harder
[11:20] WilSgfrd: so just wait if that makes you feel better
[11:20] intern: i've got it
[11:21] intern: but thanks for your help

So needless to say I flew off the handle and into a glass window. I feel totally bad for snapping at him but, come on, if you already could see his time then why ask me. I also love my spelling when I get worked up...geez, I'm need to find other ways to release energy..maybe yoga.

New York City subways...nice

Need I say more.

My First Blog

What is this thing called blogging? Why do people do it and are they really as interesting as they seem to be? hmmm...

Today is pretty slow. My boss is traveling and I'm caught up on all my odd tasks. I have a video shoot coming up for next week. Going to put some kids on camera again for CBM.

On a more personal...Jill is selling her eggs for $25 dollars each. Enjoy!..ain't blogging grand :)

My 30th Birthday

Crazy times. Lucky, GR, Corey, Jackie + b.f, James, Crispin & Brian- at other table.

Helen's Hide away and 55 old people. The other guy that was celebrating his birthday was turning 88..gave me something to look forward to.
I had a great time, very relaxed, and drank way to much..threw up. Happy 30.

My sister leaves my these crazy birthday messages every year..its sort of become a compotion to see you can leave the craziest birthday song!

Click on the Music Note twice and then hit Play to listen!

Express Yourself LIVE