Soft Moments

I've been looking at Microsoft Money way to much. This Friday will be my last payment on my debt management program but my credit card debt is far from over. Working with Microsoft Money I've figured that I will not be out of debt completely until Apr 2009. Trying to save for my wedding and create a emergency fund is also depressing me and proving almost impossible at my given income. The vet bill is going to be $400. Looks like if Lucky goes to Italy for his book there is no way I could afford to go. Our anniversary is coming up in October and my idea of us traveling is laughable. I came home from church today just sad and hopeless. Took a nap and then started cleaning the kitchen....

I just feel better once I start to clean. It clears my head and centers me. Took the laundry in and on the way back stopped into a flower shop. Sure it wasn't in my budget, that I had created, but I needed something to brighten my day. Just has I was paying for my flowers I hear the familiar sound of small paws and breath. Vishes followed by my best friend and partner, Lucky. He had stopped by to buy me a flower because he knew where my mind was and wanted to make me smile.

We sat in the court yard, drinking margaritas and he allowed me to fantasize about french doors and trips to an ice hotel. Later I talked to my mom and sis. Lucky cooked an amazing meal - steak and shrimp. As we watched Extreme Makeover, my eyes wondered over to the flowers. They looked prettier, more full, then when I first put them in that vase. I realized I was missing the point. Yes, I have big dreams and hopes for our future. But its these simple moments that I miss when I'm consumed about wanting something more. Our home. Vishes. A soft quite Sunday evening in front of the tv with Lucky. Good food and a coke float. Those flowers. Smile. I love you.

PS. Turns out Lucky had rearranged the flowers.