Never, ever go to Queens. Never.

I had my first date with manhunt guy (dont judgeTM). It began with him on the phone to one of his assistants. We had to walk from union square to 24th and 7th so he could meet with one of them to exchange keys. We waited for 30mins. Oh and it was via the walk that I discovered he had 2 titanium hips. I would think that would be cool, except for the cane. We made it to Barracuda for a couple of drinks, where I started to forgive him for making me look like a homeless person.

Then we go to dinner at this cute little thai restaurant because he knows the owner. Not five mins after we sit down, his ex walks through the door and SITS DOWN AT OUR TABLE. To say it was awkward would be an understatement. Lucky, because he knew the owner, the Lychee martinis (vodka and sake) were flowing freely. After five, I was toast. I ended up in a cab with the ex, the owner and him on my way to his house in queens. We drop the two of them off (thank god) at a gay club called Atlantis . Who knew there were gay clubs outside Manhattan.

A $45 cab ride later, we arrive at his place. I practically trip over his roomie (also an ex) who is passed out on the living room floor. Why? Because its a one bedroom and "thats were he sleeps". And the apt reminds me of a grandmothers. Lots of porcelain vases, throw pillows, chachki stuff in every room, a glass cabinet filled with dressed up dolls and track lighting. Grandma. Oh and cats. One with cancer. We start to make out and I'm worried I'm going to snap one of his hips.

Fast forward to the morning (I'm not one to kiss and blog. read: Hi mom!). I wake up with a huge hangover, stumble into the kitchen and see him buck-ass naked with just a cock ring on. My eyes are screaming, thats just to much flesh and plastic for the morning. He makes naked coffee and we make awkward chit chat (I totally know what blogger boy was feeling now). Then out of nowhere a piercing scream explodes in my head - awesome for the hangover. His cat with cancer has tried to claw her way up his naked leg, causing scratch marks and blood. Thats was my cue to leave. now. right now. I bolt for my shirt, covered in cat hair, and grab my bag. Give a quick kiss and a small, "uh-huh" when he says he wants to see me again.

Wondering in jackson heights, asking people were the 7 train is. Ain't dating fun?